


Woke Up From The American Dream

by DoctorFitzy (KittooningMalijah)



Series: webseries au [6]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Gen, Webseries AU, bad puns at no additional charge, it's very much a coulson centric installment, not even low key, there's no romance in this one at all, youtubers au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-09-02 00:11:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8643667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittooningMalijah/pseuds/DoctorFitzy
Summary: When Phil Coulson first purchased the property, he thought it would be easy money - just keep the building in good shape and collect rent every month. He never expected to get attached.





	

          The building was just supposed to be an easy way to earn some extra money, an investment for whenever he retired, and for almost fifteen years, that's all Phil saw it as. His tenants were simply customers, and he was providing a service, and that was that. He didn't have to be the go-between for a therapist, or be all but cornered so that someone could beg for a pet, and he certainly didn't have a floor devoted almost entirely to small children.

          When Leo and Jemma first moved in, nothing really changed. It didn't matter to him if they brought work home with them - he was bound to get a few eccentric tenants eventually, and they mostly kept to themselves for the first few years. Of course, the trio of college students that moved in across the hall from them were a different story. They weren't loud, like he'd expected them to be, but they were definitely social, and it disrupted everyone else's schedules, which disrupted his schedule, and the number of times he'd personally had to speak to Skye about it exceeded a dozen in less than a year. Between them, the always fighting married couple on the same floor, and the divorcee down the hall from his office, it was a wonder her got anything done at all. And, for a few years, that's how things were - at least, until a known felon moved in.

          To be fair, Grant was one of his easiest to deal with tenants, and, thanks to years of running the building, he knew the therapist he was seeing every other week. Thanks to the judicial system, and an elaborate amount of family money, he was allowed to keep one of his favorite people in the building. And, with how close he'd gotten to everyone one his floor, it made the rest of his job easier, too. He was responsible enough to remind people when rent was due, and he kept Leo and Jemma from causing too many explosions, and he helped Bobbi and Lance settle more than a dozen arguments. Everyone was civil to each other, most of the time, but, in a way, Grant was the one who made them all stick together.

* * *

 

          Most days were the same, and Phil thought it was going to be another one of those days until the afternoon Skye walked into his office without any warning. It wasn't the first time it had happened, and it certainly wouldn't be the last time, they both knew that, so he didn't even flinch when she dropped her weight into the chair across from him. His guess was that she was there to ask, yet again, to make an exception when it came to his  _no pets_ rules, but he was proven wrong as soon as she opened her mouth.

          "Phillip, we have a problem." She let the words hang there for a moment, most likely just to make him that much more confused and concerned. "Lincoln convinced me to take a writing class this term, and my first paper has to be about a parent, guardian, or parental figure in my life. As you know, I don't have any parents or guardians that I can interview and then write five pages about,  _but_ , I have you."

          Silence fell between them again, and it took a few moments before he could even begin to understand what she was asking of him. "What?"

         The sound she mad was somewhere between a sigh and a groan, and he was a bit startled when she leaned forward with her hands on his desk. "Look, I know this is weird for you - it's weird for me, too, but I need this writing credit to keep my GPA up, and as much as I'm glad that Grant reminds me to pay my bills and feed myself, he's more of an  _older brother_ figure than a parental figure. he's great at it, don't get me wrong, but I had people around here I considered family before he moved in." He was still confused, not entirely understanding all that she was asking of him, a fact that was likely obvious by the look in his eyes. "I want to do the paper on  _you_ , Phil. You're the closest thing I have to a parent that I can actually talk to. You're the person who gave me a place to live with my friends right out of high school - and we couldn't even pay the full price of rent back then. You  _bought us groceries for two months_ when Lincoln was basically living in the campus library and Trip had his internship. You've done  _so much more_ than any other adult in my life."

          There was a lot of weight to her words, and he was fully aware of what her request meant when she put it so plainly. He had two options, then, to accept and give her a few hours of his time, or deny it and potentially offend one of his favorite tenants. When it put it that way, it was an easy decision to make.

          "I have a few hours free later this week. If you want to come by tomorrow afternoon, you can do whatever interviewing you need to do. I'll answer all of your questions then, and you can come to me for any kind of clarification later."

           The sound she made in answer was too high pitched for his ears to quite process, and reality didn't seem to fall together again until she was already on the other side of his desk, hugging him tightly. He'd had plenty of  _familiar_ interactions with some of his tenants, but even from Skye, a hug was rare, and he didn't have time to process it and return the embrace before she pulled away again. "Thank you so much, Phil! I'll see you tomorrow after lunch!" By the time he blinked again, she was already gone.

* * *

 

          In all the years that Leo and Jemma had been living in the building, they'd never once been more of a worry than a tripped fire alarm. As far as he knew, they'd never even gotten a  _cold_ \- and he kept up with their videos, so he figured that bit of information was accurate. That's why, when he got the news that Leo was in the hospital from a very distraught Jemma, he had a bit of trouble reminding himself that he couldn't just drop everything to make the two hour drive to see him. With all of his responsibilities, the most Phil could do was keep his phone on and send food whenever Lincoln or Trip spent the night at the hospital. It didn't feel like enough, not even remotely, but it was his limit. All that was left to do then was to wait for news.

          When new finally came, it was in the form of a live video on Grant's channel, but that didn't make it any less of a relief. An important person in all of their lives was going to be okay, and that was all that mattered, at least, until a few months later, when he had another visitor to his office.

          He didn't see Jemma often, at least, not as much as he saw Skye or either of her roommates, and that was just a fact, but early evening came around and it brought the English scientist with a plastic dish. There wasn't any way what was in the colored dish even when she set it down on his desk, and Phil was left in a state of confusion until she sat down in the chair across from him and started speaking.

          "I went on a date last weekend."

           The only thing he could think in that moment was that he didn't understand what was happening. Why would anyone go to him about any aspect of a relationship? He was a landlord, not a father, and the fact that some of his tenants treated him like one didn't change that. He still didn't know quite why they did that, either, even after Skye had handed him her A-worthy paper like it would answer all of his questions - in the end, it had only left him with more. even with the few that the seven pages  _had_ answered, and there really weren't many, he couldn't quite wrap his mind around the idea of anyone going to him for a discussion on romance. "I'm sorry?"

          Luckily, Jemma was quick to pick up on his confusion, shaking her head and opening the container she'd brought with her to reveal a batch of cookies while she spoke. "It was quite nice, actually. Except for the storm, of course, we could have done without that, but i did enjoy myself. I'm thinking of going out with him again."Considering how long she'd been living in his building, he knew that there would be more, that she would find some reason to second guess herself and potentially never go on another date in her life. With Jemma, there was always a  _but_ , another side of things to consider before a decision could be made, and Phil had learned to wait things out long ago. "But I had to leave Leo alone, and he got scared, so he ended up spending the night with Grant. And there's nothing wrong with that, I'm glad he has someone else to help him, too, but... I hate when things go wrong, and, maybe, if I'd been home that night, instead, he would have been okay."

           If there was one thing that everyone knew about Leo and Jemma, it was that they were best friends. He was fairly certain that the only reason they didn't refer to each other as brother and sister was because the science they'd developed to make that a fact had to be put on the back burner after Leo's incident. They'd always been sticklers about things like exaggeration, though he had seen fond smiles after Skye referred to them as the "science twins" once. Their relationship was one that very few people ever understood, but the people of the building were some of the chosen few, and that knowledge could  _easily_ be used to make her feel better, he was sure of it.

          "But he had Grant." From his side of things, Phil thought it was simple, and he hurried to explain himself before she could cut in. "I know you're worried about him, Jemma, but we're all worried. Since you both moved in here, you've had more people to take care of you than just each other, and you are allowed to do things outside of your relationship with Leo. I thought you would have realized, after what happened - we all care, about both of you, and you don't have to take care of things all on your own. You shouldn't feel bad for having a nice night out of every once in a while. If you ever want to go out again, you  _should_. Jemma, you have earned more than your fair share of nice nights out; taking care of Leo is not your responsibility, and I'm sure he'd agree with me. Leo is a grown man - no matter what he's been through, he had survived a night fending for himself, or going to someone else if he really needs help. You're not the only person in his life who cares anymore." His word choice wasn't the best, but he could see a faint smile pulling at her lips while she nodded her head. If only every aspect of faux parenting could be so easy.

          "Right, of course, Phil, I know that, but-"

          "No more buts." He shook his head, only taking one cookie from the container between them before looking over at her with slightly widened eyes. "As your land lord, and apparently your surrogate father, I declare that you should spend at least three hours outside of the apartment a week - for something other than work. You need a break, Jemma."

           She was quiet for a long moment, clearly focusing on taking a breath before she nodded again. "Okay. Thank you, Phil, I knew I had the right idea, coming to you." Getting to her feet, she took the cookie container with her while fighting back a somewhat wider smile. "I'll call Will as soon as I get back upstairs." And, with that, the English scientist left his office while not even trying to hide the slight bounce in her step.

* * *

 

           Besides when everyone paid their bills, Skye dropped in for her weekly lunch, and Jemma stopped by to deliver freshly baked cookies almost just as often, his office was quiet. Phil actually had quite a bit of free time with how  _easy_ it was to get things done. If anything, his latest interruption just meant he had something to  _do,_ even if it was one of his more...  _interesting_ tenants. One of his more interesting tenants who was far from the top of his favorites list.

          "Lance, I am not your marriage counselor."

          The Englishman certainly could not be described as graceful when he dropped into the chair with a sigh. He wasn't a common visitor at all, but everyone knew what to expect from him. Lance Hunter was married, and not so secretly upset that his wife, Bobbi, had chosen to keep her maiden name. There were frequent noise complaints stemming from the pair's...  _hobbies_ , but the most anyone had been able to do to help had been buying Grant a pair of ear plugs for Christmas as a joke, so at least their marriage wasn't in complete shambles. Still, that didn't stop him from acting like it was.

          "Bobbi won't give up the side of the bed closest to the window." Oh, now it was just getting ridiculous. "What if there's a robbery? Bob could probably fight them off, but me? I'm defenseless."

          Sometimes, Phil really missed the days when Leo was able to come down to his office and help when things needed to be talked out. But, without the Scot available to handle things for him, Phil could still manage to find a solution, he was sure of it - even if he couldn't say anything for a minute, wondering when his life had become the mess that it was.

          "What if the robbers come in through the window?" Not once, in all the years that he'd owned the building, had anyone who lived there been robbed, but that kind of question might just give him his quiet afternoon back. "Lance, I think, as long as you make Bobbi happy - and maybe let her just have whatever side of the bed she wants - she will always protect you from whatever danger threatens you or your home."

          At the words, he could see the Englishman's eyes widening, and based on the look in them that could only be described as  _awe,_ his entire life had been changed. Maybe he didn't need Leo to help him be a stand in relationship councilor, after all.

* * *

 

          It was the first time that Grant had ever knocked before entering the office, and that fact alone almost made him panic. It wasn't that Grant wasn't a respectful tenant, because he definitely was, but his visits usually consisted of him dropping off his check for rent, a quick hello, and then he would leave. Knocking was never a part of their routine. So, when he rapped his knuckles against the  _already open_ door, Phil was reasonably concerned. He welcomed the younger man into the room without hesitation, his worry likely obvious in his gaze before he was close enough to really see it. The only reason that Grant would behave abnormally would be if something was wrong - and the only time he'd ever actually witnessed it was during Leo's coma. Which meant this was potentially even more concerning.

          Phil watched while he sat down slowly, almost afraid to speak in case he said the wrong thing. Finally, his tenant spoke, though it was somewhat hesitant. "So... I don't think that Leo is in the best place, mentally, after everything that happened, and... Jemma and I, we've been talking - and we  _know_ that it's against your rules, and you don't allow pets, but..." Grant paused so that he could take a breath, clearly rethinking the idea before he spoke again. "We've been looking into the idea, and there  _are_ studies that say pets help with certain mental conditions, and we thought we should at least mention it to you." He was quiet again, just long enough that he didn't give Phil the time to respond. "You don't have to say yes, obviously, it's your building - but... just consider it?"

          The room was quiet while he watched his tenant from across the desk. It  _was_ his building, and he made the rules, but Grant's reasoning was sound, and his motivations were good. Maybe,  _just this once,_ he could make an exception to one of his biggest rules. With a small smile, Phil watched the younger man for a moment, letting the silence hang in the air to build the suspense. He wouldn't have as much fun, otherwise.

          "For Leo?"

          He didn't miss the faint flicker of hope in Grant's eyes before it was hidden away, choosing not to say anything about it, not that he had much of a choice when he was already getting a response. "For Leo, of course."

          Letting out a soft sigh, Phil shook his head slowly. The rule was in place to prevent Skye from asking about his policy on rats that happened to get into the building, and to give Jemma a reason to say  _no_ to a monkey. There was nothing specifically prohibiting cats or dogs. "Fine - but nothing more than eighty pounds."

           This time, Grant's expression was obvious in how it conveyed his reaction. His grin couldn't mean anything besides pure excitement. "Thank you. I promise, we won't let it destroy the building."

* * *

 

          That particular worry was never an issue. Within a week, Mishka was more than happy to wander wherever Leo or Grant was, and even happier if they were both around. The most trouble he ever got into was the afternoon he wandered into Phil's office. And even that wasn't something he would classify as  _trouble_. The dog had been left alone for two minutes too long, and he'd just wanted a bit of company, there was nothing wrong with that, even if his definition of "company" was the cushion of a desk char.

          In the fifteen minutes before Grant and Leo showed up in search for the missing pet, Phil had almost completely forgotten he was there. Copper fur stood out obviously against gray fabric, but the near silence had given him no reason to look over and remind himself that he wasn't alone. When sudden excitement from the open door broke his concentration, Phil took a moment to reconsider his no-pets rule entirely.

          The look of blatant fear in Leo's eyes was the first reminder that things weren't exactly normal. Of course - Mishka had been an exception, it would make sense for him to be strict with the rules, but no rules had actually been  _broken._ There was nothing to be strict about. Maybe he'd grown used to being seen as the building dad, or the movies that Skye made him watch during their regular lunches were starting to get to him, but his first instinct wasn't to let them off the hook, not really, it was to try to make them relax.

          "I'm not a regular land lord. I'm a  _cool_ land lord." Phil saw a weak smile starting to pull at the Scotsman's face, and it wasn't like he was hurting anyone by pushing his luck with just one more comment. "If you want, you can even call me  _Coolson_."

          The  _very loud_ groan he got in response from the both of them was enough motivation for him to never try  _that_ again. Then again, he really didn't think it was that bad of a joke - maybe they just had a less refined sense of humor.

          "Phil, please." Grant was the one to speak up first while Leo scooped Mishka up off the cushion he'd settled onto. "Never make a joke like that again. It will only encourage Skye to keep calling you the building dad." There was an insultingly enthusiastic nod from the shorter man next to him before he spoke again. "Seriously, it's weird. Don't do anything to make it worse."

           There was a beat of silence while Phil let the words hang in the air, the frown on his face more than enough evidence for how much he disapproved of their criticism. It was a rather decent pun, if he did say so himself. "Then I suggest you get your pet out of my office before I change my rules again." In a matter of seconds, his office was empty again, the door had clicked shut, and he was left to go back to work.


End file.
